Today
It seems that it is too easy to live life on “auto-pilot” and hope that your settings are correct. Getting the day started is sometimes a chore and a challenge, and some unique direction seems called for on most, if not all, of those days. Here are some things, however, that might be helpful for starters. Each of us might have different directives, but it is important to be conscious, intentional, and deliberate about what they are, and what we do with them. In the work that we do in and around the lives of our families, our colleagues, and our patients, here are some suggestions that have been important to me.
Notes to self.
Remember to treat people with graciousness and respect today. Encourage them and validate their feelings and concerns. Accept people. That doesn’t mean you have to agree with them or endorse them. You might, however, find that you have more in common than you previously thought.
Be charitable. Be kind. Be compassionate. Avoid being strident and overbearing. There are, at times, metaphorical swords that you must fall on, but don’t for a minute think that you are to fall on all of them. First of all, you cannot fall on all of them. There are too many swords! Plus, if you don’t try to fall on swords all the time, people will pay more attention when you do decide to fall on one of them.
Learn that things are not always what they seem, so being careful is OK. Trust people anyway. If you let yourself be too cynical, people might not trust you. However, if some people don’t trust you, that may be a compliment.
Do your work. Work ahead. Plan and do the thought-work to save time later. Then redo things that can be made better. Be humble about what you do. A little humility looks good on most people. Make sure it looks good on you. In other words, don’t be proud of your humility. Just do your work and be grateful when someone notices.
It is not all about you. It is not all about you. It is not all about you. It is not all about you. Ask others how they are and be sincere about it. But don’t get upset when they begin to actually answer your question. Don’t tear yourself down, or others will think that you’re OK with it if they do it too. You won’t like that much.
Ask for help. Ask for guidance. Listen a lot. Be still more often. Silence is a good thing. Hold your piece more often than not. It is true that keeping quiet may bring huge benefits. Represent Someone. When it is time to speak up, be simple. Be clear. Be direct. Be calm and yet be passionate at the same time.
Remember — everything counts. There are no wasted experiences, so don’t ignore them. Learn something new today. Then work on applying what you learn. There is truth to the old saying that “nothing just happens.” But don’t feel that you must interpret everything. It’s too much work to do that too much and it puts people off. Even if you know something, that doesn’t mean that you have to say it. If a lot is riding on something, though, then say it.
Finally, don’t put too much pressure on yourself today, because you are probably going to forget most of this anyway. So, pick one thing and do it. If you can do more than one thing, consider yourself fortunate and blessed.
About the Author Heading link
Dr. Brian McIntyre is an Associate Professor of Clinical Family Medicine in the Department of Family and Community Medicine.